I'm Dretti!!!

As my excitement builds for the Milwaukee IndyFest race this weekend, I have been reflecting on some of the more, shall we say, interesting racing related memories I have. The one that keeps coming to the forefront of my mind centers on Matthew's misunderstanding of a name.

I was a huge Michael Andretti fan when he was a driver and I remain a huge Michael Andretti fan as a race team owner. There was never a doubt who I was cheering for once the green flag flew. The boys somehow picked up on my ever-so-slight passion for open wheel racing and would sit with me to watch the races on Sunday afternoon. In fact, they came up with their own special way to watch the races.

Each of the boys would grab their child-sized chair from their small table and chair set. They would dutifully plop themselves directly in front of the television and "become" the drivers; complete with sound effects. They also attempted to mimic the effects of G-Forces on their bodies as they piloted their imaginary cars around the course. Never mind that they had no concept of how G-Force actually affects a person so they often threw their bodies in the wrong direction based on how they turned their imaginary steering wheel. It didn't really matter if they were accurate; just that they were having fun watching a race with Dad!

One year, when Matthew was probably four years old, the boys decided they needed to be real drivers as they raced. Joseph proudly declared that he was Michael. Matthew; since Michael was already taken, declared that he was Dretti. I tried to gently explain to him that Michael Andretti was his name. It wasn't  Michael and Dretti. Matthew dutifully responded that he understood, so I asked him again who he was going to be.

His response?

"Dretti!"

This continued for a while as I tried various explanations to help him understand that the driver's name was Michael Andretti. There were not two people named Michael and Dretti.

He got it!

So I asked him again who he was going to be.

"Dretti!"

Obviously I was not getting anywhere with this and I needed the assistance of a child rearing expert.

"Diane," I screamed. "I need your help!!!!"

This was probably a mistake for several reasons. First, because she thought Matthew's comments were so unbelievably cute; which Matthew picked up on immediately, thereby guaranteeing that we were never going to get beyond Dretti. The bigger reason this proved to be a mistake was that Diane did what Diane still does when one of the boys does something she deems "cute" - she started laughing in such a way that you knew she had lost it and would be of no help whatsoever.

I had just given up entirely by this point. I wasn't about to miss the entire race arguing with a four year old about a driver's name. I don't think I could win an argument with a four year old even today, anyway, so I guess it was a moot point. I resigned myself to accept the fact that Joseph was going to be Micheal and Matthew was going to be Dretti.

We went through an entire race season with Michael and Dretti in our home. I'm convinced that Matthew actually got it early on but continued the charade because of all of the attention it got him from Diane.

I guess he hasn't really changed much...