Diane and I met at a Singles Bible Study. As you can surmise from the group's name, it was all single people; and all of us were in our twenties and thirties. Some were singles on the hunt for a mate. Most of us, though, were people who just enjoyed getting together every Friday evening for Bible Study and fellowship.
Diane had been involved in the study long before I ever joined. She played her guitar for the singing time and sat there looking quite cute the rest of the time. (She no longer plays her guitar but she is still very cute.)
The fellowship time after the study each week was an important part of the group's dynamic. Sometimes everyone just hung around the host's condo and talked. At other times we would head out for frozen custard or miniature golf or some other activity. Sometimes, though, the group ended up breaking into a couple of smaller groups based on each person's level of interest in one or more activities.
Diane and I had similar interests so we almost always ended up in the same small group when the larger group split up. In doing so; we became friends.
It was 1987 and the Milwaukee Brewers started the season on a tear; winning their first 13 games, including the one and only no hitter in club history. Diane and I were both baseball fans so we decided to go to the game on the day before Easter. It wasn't really a date; even though just the two of us went. We were just friends who went to a ballgame together.
We did a few other things together, too, but it was still just friends hanging out together. Somewhere along the way, though, things began to change. The change was subtle at first; too subtle for me to pick up on right away.
Some evenings; when Diane had a lot of papers to grade from her second grade classroom, I would pick up a pizza and head over to her apartment to help her grade papers while we had a baseball or basketball game on television in the background. (I typically graded the Math papers because the answers were either right or wrong. Diane handled those subjects that required a more gentle, nuanced approach to correcting their errors than a geek tends to offer.)
Diane had become more than just a friend; she was my best friend.
A lot of our friends probably assumed we were dating, but I didn't see it that way at the time. In fact, I suppose if I had to pick what our first "real" date was it would be the night we went to the theater. It's tough to call it a first date, though, because it wasn't like I nervously called to ask her out; we were just best friends who went out together.
We had seen a commercial during a ballgame announcing that Camelot was coming to the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee. This was a big deal because it was being billed as Richard Harris' farewell tour playing the part of King Arthur. I had seen him play King Arthur before; the first time was when Mom took me to see Camelot at The Muny Opera in St. Louis. Richard Harris was King Arthur. No one else has ever come close to playing the part. Diane had never seen him so I suggested that we go.
I bought tickets and we made plans for me to pick her up at her place after work that day. Diane looked stunning when she answered the door; all dressed up for dinner and the play.
We chatted across the table while enjoying dinner at Mader's German Restaurant. Our conversation wasn't the awkward conversation of a couple on their first date; it was the comfortable conversation of best friends. We casually made our way through dinner and the play; enjoying each other's company as much as the play.
We ended the night with a warm embrace on Diane's front porch. It was the first physical contact we had other than the casual, spontaneous contact that happens between friends. Somehow I think both of us realized at that moment that things were different. We were still best friends, but also something more. We were best friends who had stumbled together upon the relationship of a lifetime.
Many people fall madly in love only to realize they really don't like their partner. We were best friends who loved each other deeply before ever falling in love. Two people who came to the realization that we belong together.
We were engaged about a month and a half after our "first date," and married about six months after that. The rapid progression from "first date" to engaged to marriage may sound strange to people who weren't there, but it was the most natural thing for us.
It's been twenty-five and a half years since we said our "I do's" and I love her even more now than I did then.
She's still my best friend.
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