Just Hanging Around With Ken

Today is another special day in the Brader clan; for today marks another birthday for Beth - the baby. I won't share her age, but I will share that she is hitting one of the big decades and it's not twenty and it's not thirty and it's not...

Nevermind.

I think Mom had a special love for Beth that started the moment she laid eyes on her as an infant and joyously noticed that she had been spared the stress of having another boy. As far back as I can remember I was admonished that I had to, "be nice to Beth; she's the baby," or, "watch out for Beth; she's the baby," or "take care of Beth; she's the baby."

You get the point.

Beth, of course, played into the role of being "the baby" perfectly.  Like all babies; she started off life small but in her case, she never grew up. I used to call her shrimp because she was so short. I used to call her other things, too, but she usually reported those things to Mom and I got in trouble.

Having Beth around was fine most of the time because she, for whatever reason, looked up to me - the big brother.

But occasionally having Beth around was more than I could handle. Mom forced me to play with Beth. Of course, she never forced Beth to go in the yard and shoot cans with my BB Gun. No, our forced play together always centered on some girly thing that Beth wanted to do. I distinctly remember one time that Mom made me play dolls with Beth.

Seriously?????

Dolls????

Fine! I'll play dolls with Beth.

Beth gleefully got out her Barbie and Ken dolls and all of their associated "stuff." Playing dolls with Beth had to be a very structured thing. Barbie was the Mom. Ken was the Dad. They loved each other dearly and did things like go shopping together.

Yippee!!!

Beth normally had an entire script worked out for how our play time had to proceed. Variation from the script led to tears. Of course, pretty much everything led to tears when it came to Beth.

Well I had finally had enough. This playing with dolls thing was ridiculous so I decided to go "off script" just a bit. Somewhere along the line, Ken assaulted Barbie. GI Joe showed up and beat Ken up in the process of arresting him. There was a trial and Ken was sentenced to death by hanging.

I proceeded to fashion a noose from a shoelace that I then attached to the doorknob and - I'm embarrassed to admit it even after all these years - I hung Ken.

Beth ran crying to Mom. To say that Mom was furious would be putting it a bit mildly. This was certainly not her intention when she had forced me to play dolls with Beth.

Although I admit that it wasn't a very nice thing to do, it did serve a very important purpose.

I never had to play dolls with Beth again...

Happy Birthday, Beth!