Beauty Is Only Skin Deep

I'm sure we've all heard the phrase, "Beauty is only skin deep." I have no idea where this phrase got started - and there are multiple ways it can be interpreted - but as a whole I think it is a total lie.

Although I didn't understand it as a young man; I have come to understand that beauty has nothing to do with what we see with our eyes. Oh, we certainly see some level of physical attractiveness or lack thereof, but true beauty is not something we can behold with our eyes.

True beauty can only be seen with our hearts.

I'm sure you can remember instances of seeing a beautiful woman with a rather frumpy guy, or a handsome man with a rather plain girl and wondering, "How in the world did he/she end up with her/him???" That thought can only come about when we succumb to the world's constant attempt to define beauty for us.

In reality, he/she ended up with her/him because they understand that we don't see true beauty with our eyes. I can recall multiple times when I met someone who initially seemed rather plain but somehow became better looking once I got to know them. The opposite has also been true; where a seemingly attractive person somehow became less attractive as I got to know them.

Their beauty ultimately had nothing to do with their outward appearance.

I'm as guilty as the next person of falling into the world's "beautiful people" trap, but then I look at my own life experiences and remember that true beauty is so much more than can be seen with our eyes.

When I was in my twenties I could not imagine finding a woman in her fifties to be beautiful and desirable. I kind of assumed that men loved their wives enough that they would overlook the signs of aging; and women did the same for their husbands. I figured that the physical desire would wear off when looking at the same face day after day and year after year.

I was wrong.

Diane is even more beautiful and desirable today than she was in her twenties.

Would the world at large say so? Maybe not; but the world no longer determines my standard for beauty.

Maybe nothing drove this point home more than the day I realized how beautiful she was sitting there with no hair and a pale complexion as her body showed the ravaging effects of chemotherapy.

But there she was - beautiful.

Even more beautiful than the day I proposed to her.

Even more beautiful than the day her father walked her up the aisle to give me her hand in marriage.

Diane's hair grew back and complexion was restored to its healthy hue as the effects of the chemotherapy slowly wore off. Merely having hair and a healthy complexion did not make her more beautiful, though.

She just is.

I have not deceived myself into somehow believing she is more beautiful than she is, or was. Instead, Diane grew - and continues to grow - more beautiful because I have come to see her through the lens of our wonderfully blessed life together instead of merely with my eyes.

That life - with all of its ups and downs, laughter and tears, successes and failures - is what matters.

That life is what makes her even more beautiful and desirable today than she was over a quarter century ago.

I don't care if no one else in the world recognizes her physical beauty.

She is beautiful to me.

And her skin has nothing to do with it.