Not Just A Dog

Sadie Mae died quickly and peacefully on Saturday, October 3rd. The doctor suspected that she had developed a brain tumor that led to some sudden and significant issues. She was only happy if both Diane and I were home with her. She was agitated a bit if only one of us was home and was inconsolable if she was left alone. She would go crazy when we got home; racing around and panting until enough time had passed for her to settle back in. She also started sleeping a lot more over the last couple of weeks. 

She was unable to settle down even with people with her when we gave her a trial run at the doggy daycare in preparation for our trip to Florida to meet our new grandson, Asaph. After consulting with her doctor, we made the gut wrenching decision to euthanize her before we left on our trip. I pretty much spent the last five hours of her life stroking her as she mostly slept contentedly; the pain building in my heart along with the lump in my throat with every passing minute. The first thing Dr. Svang said when she walked into the room was, "You're doing the right thing." 

It sure didn't feel like it.

The week away was a salve for my aching heart, but coming home to an empty house is a punch in the gut.

Sadie Mae was so much more than "just a dog." She was a special companion to me through good times and bad. I work next door to the Elmbrook Humane Society. One of their volunteers was walking Sadie (they called her Blackie) past our building while we were outside at break enjoying an unseasonably warm January day. Diane and I went over to meet her that afternoon and just knew that she needed us as much as we needed her. 

She had a really rough start in her life and came with some issues as many rescues do. She transformed into my perfect canine companion after multiple visits with her doctor and several sessions with the doggy shrink at the Waukesha County Humane Animal Welfare Society.

Sadie Mae was quite sure that I couldn't eat an entire apple by myself, so she stood by staring at me knowing that I would bite off a small piece and give it to her as the first bite, another one in the middle and she always got the last bite. She also determined that Diane couldn't eat lunch without having some baby carrots on her plate destined for her. She somehow knew anytime Diane was boiling water to make noodles because she always raced in no matter how deeply she had been sleeping to eat the noodles Diane had used to test for doneness. 

No matter where she was in the house, or how deeply she was sleeping, all it took was for me to call out, "Sadie Mae come help Daddy...," with whatever task I was headed out to do. She loved things as simple as backing the truck into the garage or going out to light the grill or flip the meat. She was also an invaluable helper whenever Diane needed to fill the bird feeders or pull weeds in the garden. She just wanted to be with us whenever we did anything. 

Sadie was my constant companion during the three and a half months that Diane lived in Pennsylvania to help Matthew and Shelley during his Lymphoma treatment. She went to work with me everyday and either followed me around or sat in a spot where she could monitor my location the entire day. She slept at my feet in bed every night. 

Sadie Mae was terrified of my woodshop in the basement. She would run to the furthest reaches of the house and hide when she saw me changing into my shop shoes. During the last couple of weeks of her life, though, her need to be near me seemed to supersede her fear of the shop. Maybe that should have been a clue that things had changed for her. She even spent several hours in the shop with me a few days before she died; leaving me with a wonderful memory of our time together. 

I wake up early; even on the weekends when most people relish the chance to sleep in. Not me. I'm still typically awake and up sometime between 3:45 and 4:15. To avoid waking Diane, I would get up and go downstairs to pass the time watching some woodworkers I follow on YouTube. Sadie Mae always went with me. She curled up on her bed beside my spot on the sofa or up on the sofa and we would pass the hours until Diane got up with one hand stroking her as we watched the videos together.

Sadie couldn't easily jump onto the bed anymore so she slept on her bed on the floor beside our bed. I gave her a few treats and some petting just before getting into bed each night. I would stroke her ears as I looked into her eyes and told her that I loved her. Her eyes seemed to convey that she wanted to tell me that she loved me, too.

We got home from Florida Saturday afternoon. I cried as I watched videos alone yesterday morning; longing for the chance to stroke her soft ears and scratch her belly just one more time. 

We had Sadie Mae cremated. Her ashes are supposed to come back today. I am going to make a  dovetailed box from some beautifully figured cherry to hold her cremains. 

She was not just a dog and I will miss her always and forever.