Dukes of Hazzard Class!

Now, without trying to be crude, you must understand that I rarely ever have to stop while on a trip to empty my bladder. It's a far cry from when I was a kid. I even flew nonstop from Chicago to Tokyo without using the aircraft's lavatory. I can just "hold it" for a very long time.

A very long time doesn't take into account drinking five Powerades while on a trip to celebrate Matthew's Graduation from Bob Jones University. We were planning on stopping for lunch about an hour up the road, so I figured I would just "hold it" a while longer. Little did I realize that we would spend one-half hour sitting in a construction stoppage. It became a much bigger deal in a hurry.

We noticed a highway information sign for The 49 ER Fuel Center truck stop at an approaching exit. I had never heard of this particular truck stop; it certainly wasn't a TA, Love's or Pilot, if you get my drift.

I should have kept on driving...

The Dukes of Hazzard were high class compared to this truck stop. The analogy is appropriate because we were within a few minutes of Hazard, Kentucky.

I should have known better...

My Mother raised me better than this...

The General Lee would have been a luxury car in this lot

A car parked beside me as I was getting out of the car. Now that, in and off itself, was not anything particularly out of the ordinary. The fact that it was a no parking area made it a bit more interesting.

I approached the door just as a woman was coming at the door from the inside. Since my Mom always taught me that you hold the door for a woman (I hesitate to call these women Ladies), I opened the door for her to exit before I would enter. The woman from the car beside me blasted through the door without a word; nearly knocking the woman coming out of the building over. The poor woman just looked at me with a rather shocked expression before laughing, thanking me and going on her way.

The building was completely filled with the haze and odor of cigarette smoke. To the right was a restaurant of sorts. A hallway to the restrooms was on the left. I thought the "Woman In A Hurry" might be having a restroom emergency, but that was quickly proven to be false when she turned to the right and made a beeline for a"back room" behind the restaurant.

The restaurant was equipped with tables and chairs from 1950's. The Formica-topped tables had metal legs and metal banding around the table top like the old kitchen table at Nana and Papa's house when we were kids. The chair backs and seats were covered with cracked vinyl and the legs were probably once chromed but now just pocked and puckered. The clientele sat, looking bored, as they ate their food in the smokey haze.

I made my way down the hall to the restrooms. There were not Men's and Women's restrooms; just two individual bathrooms. Both were in use when I arrived, so I had time to look around the dark hallway while waiting for one of the rooms to open.

The rooms were under raised about six inches from the hallway floor and were quite obviously under construction. The room was walled with concrete board screwed to the walls with no mud or paint. The floor was covered with a cheap vinyl floor covering.

The room looked as if it have been under construction for some time.

Probably years.

I was pleasantly shocked, though, to notice that the restroom was immaculately clean.

As I made my way to the exit, I noticed a Video Poker room along the hallway from the restroom to the restaurant. The room was packed with truckers at the dozens of machines; smoke filling the air.

There were two women working behind the counter; either one of whom could have beaten Leon Spinks. Okay, most women could have beaten Leon Spinks, but you get the point. I couldn't get out of there and back to the car quickly enough.

My first words upon getting back into the car were, "No restroom emergency; however great it may seem, will ever be serious enough to stop here again."

Diane and Joseph reported the woman who had busted through the door came rushing back out with whatever treasure she had purchased in the "back room." She tripped on one of the concrete parking lot curbs; swearing as she caught herself and her "treasure" before climbing back into her car and driving away.

Now I fully admit that I have, on very rare occasions, been known to exaggerate ever so slightly to make a story more interesting. This restaurant, and the story as a whole, require no exaggeration. Really!

I could not have made this up if I tried.